Bless his shriveled little heart

I’ve been in the trenches of construction trial work for nearly twenty-five years. Sometimes lawyers disappoint me but rarely do they surprise. Yesterday, though, I got a jolt from a defense attorney.

This case involves concrete foundation slabs on grade that were poured with lotsa water and no contraction joints. Unsurprisingly they all have cracks, from hairline to thumb-thick. Defendant refused to name his expert until he received a report from mine. My guy goes out and pulls carpet or removes tile and laminate from eight of eleven slabs. He photographs and cores each one and meticulously documents his findings in a report.

Six weeks after I produce the report defendant ID’s his expert. He demands to depose our engineer, like, right now. We accommodate his request. Two weeks ago he calls and asks if his expert can visually inspect three or four units with carpet. I say sure, but you gotta put the carpet back. We even agree on a date.

Tuesday evening before Thanksgiving, lawyer calls and says whoa. He wants to look at all eight slabs my guy did. And he wants to do it the week before Christmas. And he wants my people to uncover and then replace any floor coverings. And he doesn’t think he should have to furnish proof of liability insurance. And of course, he’s not going to pay for any of this. His reason? I didn’t afford his expert an opportunity to accompany mine during his inspection.

I don’t know of any rule requiring me to tell the defense when my expert inspects or tests. That aside, defendant didn’t even have an expert when the slabs were cored. And this week before Christmas thing? I know what my wife would say if I told her a stranger was coming by to tear up the kitchen floor and I probably can’t get it fixed until after New Year’s Day.

Defendant wants to call the judge. I can’t wait for my phone to ring.